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Sensual Shadow Work Healing

Week 1

To start, I always find myself observing and listening to avoid confrontation. When I speak its because I feel safe and sometimes, I think to myself maybe I should’ve stayed quiet. So, speaking my truth has always been taken in the wrong way coming from people who don’t seem to understand my perspective. Even as I see myself as coming from a place of love somehow, I will always end up saying to myself “It’s best that I just stay quiet”. I love to communicate when I feel like people are ready to listen with an open mind, heart, and spirit. No judgment just sees me as I see myself. I see myself as a free spirit who love people and want to encourage those around me to be the best version of themselves in every way. I have learned to protect my peace by staying in my sacred space and finding balance from within. I always seem to give more than I receive. Throughout my life I wasn’t satisfied in most cases, but others around me were. It’s like if I asked it was a problem but if I didn’t ask, I had more peace in just figuring it out on my own. The help that I knew that I could count on was from (God) Most High! That’s what’s kept me from dwelling on the things that may have hurt me. Hurt me sexually, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I say to myself why is it so hard for people to love others and not judge them but just appreciate their truth and authenticity. With that I surrender and let go of the things I can’t change but strive to be that example for others to follow. So that has kept me from having relationships with people, feeling like all they wanted to do was take from me. I’ve learned to put myself first, when I feel like I’m slipping I have a self-talk with self, quiet my spirit, get grounded, and tap into my body. I love to feel safe in everything I do. Feel safe being a wife, a mom, a leader, a career woman… EVERYTHING!

The changes I would make about my sexual/ sensual self is to honor that part of me more. My everyday living in what I choose to engage in. The way I love to dress, me expressing myself through colors, my under clothes, my tops, my bottoms, shoes, and accessories. Even the way I spend more time bathing and taking time out to appreciate my skin, even the aftercare of the smells I love. The way I prepare my food, how I choose to nurture me. Eating for the benefits of how it makes every part of my body feel. How what I eat can benefit me and the way healthy living can turn into health in ALL areas of my life.

I seem to over think and I’m growing to be more in the present moment. Not being so hard on myself for not performing in a way that I felt as if I should have performed. Understanding that I am one person, and I can only do what I can do. Giving myself the love I deserve by pampering me, loving on my body (my favorite), speaking lovable things to myself for self-motivation, listening to songs by various artist that makes me feel good reminding me of who I am.

Negative things that I may think of would be me feeling that I could do more as a wife and a mom, even when I’m told that I’m doing great. Telling myself that some things are so hard when really with practice becomes easy. Thinking that I don’t look like the modern wife, how people may think a wife should look. (So Unique) Thinking how the way I look can be a distraction from people witnessing the true greatness that comes from deep inside me when I speak or perform a task. Negative things people may say to me is that I’m too extra. I’ve been told I’m not invited to parties etc… because of the way I dress. People trying to change my image to make themselves feel better.

Looking in the mirror, nurturing my inner child I tell me self “you amaze me”. Keep walking by faith and believing in yourself. Keep living in your truth and loving on others. You were set apart for a reason, no need to change but just remain. Continue to nurture your relationship with “The Most High” Keep your head up and be that example. Your voice is powerful, and your actions gives you even more power. You make me proud MarJanae!

Week 2

Sensual Shadows: Going Deeper

 
  1. If I like and love my body, I feel as if I should honor it.
  2. If I practice what I preach in my everyday life, it should show up in every area of my life as well.
  3. If I tap into myself; learn what I need and why I’m so passionate, then I can express that.
  4. If I seem a little upset, then I would start to show up as not the best version of myself.
  5. If I don’t feel safe to say how I feel about a situation, then it would start to feel like a wall is being put up inside my body which causes heaviness.
  6. If I make decisions without going deep within, then I will regret my actions after.
  7. When I listen to my higher self while connecting with my body, I experience deeper and more pleasure.
  8. If I don’t feel safe to communicate, I remain quiet until I know I’m safe to speak to a listening ear with an open mind and heart.
  9. If I make time for me, then I will have even more balance in my every day and sexual life.
  10. If I keep my energy and peace sacred, then I will understand the importance of protection.
I say feel safe because of what I observed growing up. When I was younger, I witnessed anger and tempers from different individuals around me. It didn’t matter what was going on somehow by the end of the day or week it ended in some type of lack of healthy communication which led to anger (Determined To Break The Cycle). How it made me feel, I was sensitive to that. At one point I thought it was normal because I rarely saw calmness. It wasn’t until I continued to grow that I started to learn healthy communication, healthy disagreements, and healthy perspectives. That’s the part where I had to unlearn to learn again, when I started noticing angry people throughout my life in school, working at my job, friendships, or even dating. I asked myself, what makes people so mad. To some that’s how they grew up and they don’t see nothing wrong with drama, yelling, and being nasty to people. If you ask me, I will humbly say that’s not the way of life, it’s time to level up in understanding what you say and how you respond matters. If I start to sense anger or frustration, I like to wait until it’s safe to speak or sometimes just writing it on a sheet of paper and handing it to them. That feeling never left me, my sensitive soul loves understanding, peace, laughter, and beautiful moments.  I talked about the anger, but let’s talk emotional. How my tears and sadness resulted in a lack of empathy from others around me. Being told that tears was a sign of weakness but in my spirit, I felt a sense of relief after the purging of my tears. My tears always seem to heal my heart in ways that were and still is unexplainable. Allowing myself to FEEL has been a big part of me unlearning to understand the truth of it all within self. Me wanting to be real in every aspect of self. Saying what I wanted to say from deep within regardless of the response. Even letting go of what others would say if I didn’t behave how they wanted me to. Understanding that the only way to be real with myself was to let go of the image (Take Off The Mask) and embracing the reality (My True Self). So, showing up as my higher self and my authentic self was not the norm to what I was seeing around me. So, I chose to be THE EXAMPLE. I always seem to think deeper into what I observed. Paying attention to actions rather than words spoken. My desire is for my pleasure in my everyday life to be Balanced, Pure, Heavenly, Medicine, Therapeutic, High, Passionate, and of Deep Truth. How I love, converse, connect, and more. Embodying my truth to help you embrace all of you unapologetically while in my presence.

Week 3

Sensual Shadows Deeper

Understanding shame and guilt is so important. What shame feels like to me? My mind telling me to feel like the opposite of how I know myself to be and how I choose to motivate myself. Knowing my place as a Bishop’s daughter inside and outside of the church looked different to me. I love God but my connection was personal and not determined by the church. I felt the same when it came down to expressing my authenticity and having the title as, “The Bishop’s Daughter”. My authentic self was something that I did not hide, I embodied it. I felt more confident expressing my truth when I left home and went to college. In college there was no judgment there because no one knew me. I was able to start fresh in another state around new faces as me being MarJanae. With me being away from home I was finally able to do my own thing but in the back of my mind I still had thoughts of what my parents would think. When social media took off, I was still mindful of what I would post. Thinking what the church people would say if I showed a little too much skin or even what my parents would say. Thinking about when I started dating and the look men would give me when I told them I was a PK (Preachers Kid). Learning how to say no to men who didn’t know how to treat me but only wanted one thing (Boundaries). Growing to understand how important it was to keep it sacred (Remember Who You Are). There was judgment and I was looked at as different, but that right there motivated me to have my own identity. I knew my path was peculiar and going within was the only way to find out why. I remember sophomore year when I got my first tattoo, a belly piercing, and bought clothes even shoes that spoke my language. Wearing comfortable heels became my thing, I felt confident and in my power strutting across campus expressing myself. I soon became the girl with the natural hair who wears the heels everyday (Ha-ha). How I did my own hair too, twist and crochet was my thing. It’s like while I was on that campus (Hampton University) Hampton, VA and away from my hometown Charlotte, NC I was able to embrace the changes I was seeing. In the back of mind still thinking when I came home for the holidays how my parents or the church people would look at me. How I fed my temple changed as well, I was drawn to food that made me feel good in my body. It’s like my body told me what it wanted, and I listened. My skin became softer with my choice of soap and my body oils were like an aphrodisiac. I took pride in drinking my water, eating my fruits, my vegetables, and not just saying it but living a healthy lifestyle. I exercised and just watched myself transform from a college student to a young lady. While transforming into a lady I loved the sense of accountability and responsibility as well. Being smart, having my own place to stay, car to drive, job, and money made me feel good. Embracing everything that came along with me tapping more into my authentic truth. I remember coming back home during Christmas break and my dad looked at me smiling. He said “Look at you Janae!!! My baby girl is growing up, that’s what I’m talking about” (My Daddy was my biggest fan). He became proud of his baby girl in ways that I didn’t even understand.  Now come to think of it he saw how my shame from what others would think of me, transformed my way of living my life for me. I started to discover MarJanae but didn’t let go of the fact that I was still, Bishop Marvin McMillan’s Baby Daughter. Every chance he got, he would post me on Facebook or Instagram. Everything he and my mother taught me set the foundation to becoming the woman I am on today and remembering my life’s purpose. Regardless of what I thought in my head as I went on with life, he made it very clear that he wanted me know God for myself. My dad acknowledging my change made me feel FREE. I then showed him my tattoo and my piercing, he said “That’s Janae”. My mom on the other hand needed a little bit more time to get use to this MarJanae (Ha-ha), and eventually she did. I went to church, and it was the smiles that I saw that made me feel good. “I heard some people in the church say, “Look at MarJanae doing her, she looks so good” also “I’m so proud of you, keep going”. It’s like so much positivity was being felt and said that I refuse to even look for negativity. I let go of the shame and smiled in knowing I finally was free in having my own identity.

(Song I Hear in This Moment: Common & PJ – Don’t Forget Who You Are)

Week 4

Shame? What I heard growing up, what everyone knew me as (The Bishops Daughter)

What did I learn about straight and strict growing up? As a young girl different things heard and said set the foundation to what you believed in growing up. I was told that women with glossy lips were considered nasty girls. If your skirt was too short, you were sent back to the room to change.

If I wasn’t worried about my titles. I would say or do everything my sexual self would want to do in private and public, I would show up in the world FREE. I would be that woman that doesn’t care what anyone truly has to say including my peers that look up to me in many ways. There is still a part of me that honors my professional success and others regardless of how free I feel. Guidelines and Rules are still to be followed even with going to a meeting or professional function. I will show up in the world as my sexual self, but I see myself still being mindful of how I express the best version of my sensual and sexual self-depending on the environment (Ex. Business Meeting, etc..). I think to myself but if or when I choose to show up more as my true authentic self, those same people who look up to me just might very well appreciate my authenticity. I would network more through social media, at churches, go into the community groups, conferences, etc. I would even post content centered around balance, passion, and wellness that would give the world something peculiar to see.

The list of things I heard growing up strict and straight.

  • If you wear tight clothes, you will be looked at as fast.
  • If you wear red nails, you would be looked at as a slut.
  • If you wear earrings, depending on how big you would be told that was too grown.
  • Wearing eye shadow was not considered of God/Godly like.
  • Belly shirts was discouraged.
  • Shorts too short was not to be worn depending on how they looked on you.
  • Wearing slits in your skirt was discouraged.
  • Wearing long nails was considered too grown.
  • Wearing bright colors on your lips and hair was discouraged.
  • Cursing was not of God and un lady like.
  • Showing cleavage was discouraged.

Reminder: Show up as your BEST Sensual and Sexual self (Authentically)……BE FREE…PUT YOU FIRST!

Week 5

The Darkness of Desire: Sexual Satisfaction you DESERVE and DESIRE.. How would you feel if you got it? If you didn’t get it, how would you feel?

For me the passion that I felt in my body and day to day, I soon learned that it was a way of FEELING. As a young girl always feeling heat in every area of my body, I didn’t think it was normal. I was told to control that high sexual energy/drive. With that came the way I was walking; I was told to control that. To include my maturity, I was always told that I looked older than my age starting at 1o years old until my age finally caught up with me.  Thinking as I got older it was ok  to just BE remembering what I was told at a young age .

Now I’ve grown to understand the power of women and what our bodies can do. That heat that I was feeling is good for the body. How my body responds is unique in it’s on way and I have embraced that sexually as well as sensually. What sexually releasing can do to your skin, body, and confidence. My walk is seductive and full of personality that says MARJANAE. I love how soft I am. Understanding the power that I have and cleanliness that is full of overall wellness. I choose to embrace the names that I’ve heard which are Woman, Angelic, Seductive, and etc… I say Thank You! My desire is to continue to embrace all of me in more ways that I knew how to before. I’ve learned to appreciate the things about myself that most people may have frowned upon, them speaking on it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still “ME” ..“WHO I AM”… WHAT I EMBODY”.

If I received the sexual satisfaction I deserved and desired I would feel good in knowing that I am acknowledged. What gets me aroused and brings me pleasure matters in every area of my life. Believing that it is now seen, heard, and felt unapologetically. “Show up embracing desire sensually and sexually!”

Week 6

Relinquishing Fear: “Thoughts in your head concerning certain parts of the body” What fear am I holding onto now regarding my sensual and sexual self? What do you gain by holding on to fear? What do you lose by letting it go?

List of Fears:

  • Showing too much of my legs
  • Showing too much of my full and lower back
  • Seeing booty cheeks in see through pants or dresses
  • Hard Nipples while not and when wearing a bra
  • Seeing prints while in shorts, bathing suit, or pants

Come to think of it the only gain that I would have holding on to fear would be, the inner knowing of others feeling more comfortable than me. When I let go of fear, I lose the thoughts and just be in the present moment of action. Embracing all the good feelings I have about myself from the inside out and not thinking or caring about how others are looking at me. Not caring about their comfortably just doing ME! “Evolving”

Week 7

What is your body holding on to right now?

What are you holding your breath for in this moment?

What are you bracing for?

 

I can honestly say that I am at a great place in my BODY AND LOVE LIFE. My foundation has been laid from within and it created the reality that I desired to see around me. But I can say that we all grow, learn, and heal. It never stops either, it continues for the rest of our lives.

So I start by saying sustainability in affirmations, self-love, selfishness, selflessness, and unconditional love has carried me within my pleasure within self. I had to go back to the drawing board and learn to love and appreciate myself first. Your value and love for self-shows up in your everyday life. Your mindset, the words you speak, the conversations you have, the company you keep, how you choose to take care of your body from the inside out. I’ve learned that all of it plays a role in your sex life. The moment you change certain ways of being is the moment what you start to attract changes in life including in the bedroom.

I would journal my thoughts a lot and hardly ever spoke because everything was on paper. I found balance in doing that, being guided to open my mouth created change in my interactions with others. Speaking on what I needed, wanted, and what I did not want. SPEAKING MY TRUTH Telling my partner what I desired and yearned for, feeling good about saying it because it made me feel free. That was me being selfish because I knew this was a barrier that I was breaking and that to me felt soooo good. I found my voice and I started from the root and climbed my way to the top. Now listening from within, knowing when to speak and how to speak. Being honest, considerate, also respectful in doing so.

My body, OOOO how I love my body and I love to adore her. Knowing how to surrender and let love in. I feared that for a while because of the hurt I felt once before. That was a hurt that I never ever wanted to feel again so I held back. The pain I felt in my entire body, it was so heavy! I didn’t give all of me to my partner until my body knew she was safe. But it started from my spirit, my soul. She needed to know this was safe and right now not just in the moment but infinitely. As above so below type safety, that undeniable connectedness. I grew to understand my power of loving on my body, and I wouldn’t dare let nothing or no one come and treat her less than her worth.

When I opened my heart humbly and peacefully, I made a choice to trust myself first. Trust that I was no longer my past self-full of fear, but I was a warrior that surrendered my life to my journey and my path. My pleasure was personal, My passion was heavenly, My desires were achievable, and My body is and always will be sacred. Nothing or know one can never take away the work that I put in for my soul. Smiling at myself thinking of how far I’ve come and when I even try to get into a mindset that is not of alignment I REMEMBER!!

REMEMBER: The nights when I would cry, hold myself tight, anoint my body with oil, lay hands my entire body and speak LIFE, speak to my spirit when it felt broken because of the broken spirits that got into my ear of speaking negative words.(Learned boundaries) I would soak in a bath and speak the words that would uplift my spirit and pray over my hair, lips, body ALL OVER! The only way through it, is through it. I’m a true believer of all of that. If I could, I would do it all over again.

Surrendering changed my LIFE, how I love, make love, do love, and speak love. How I receive pleasure, how I give pleasure. My surroundings, who I allow to have access to my energy, what foods I choose to partake in for sustainability in full alignment. A peaceful mind and environment is soooooo ……breathtaking.. like all my soul want to do is receive and give love allll dayyy longggg. Truly safe because it all came and continue to come from the foundation within THE ROOT!!!!

Week 8

The Perfect Storm: You won’t be the same person as you were before once you go through it! TPS: Many things that have come together to keep you from showing up as your best sensual and sexual self! Week 2: Additional things added to her list (Haunted by the Hidden):
  • No Self Accountability
  • Limiting Beliefs
  • Not Listening
  • No Consideration
  • Sexually comfortable
  • Passive
  • Ignoring
  • Not paying attention
  • Not involved
  • Shame
  • Blockages
The Perfect Storm in each Shadow work so far for MarJanae list them:
  • Week 1
  • Not speaking my truth
  • Wanting others to understand my point of view/perspective
  • Being bothered by people who judge others
  • Being in my head
  • Not appreciating me and the effort I put in for not only my family but for self
  • Week 2
  • Not feeling safe
  • Others unhealthy patterns affected me in my expression of my sensual/sexual self
  • Week 3
  • Being bothered by people who judge others
  • Week 4
  • Limiting my self expression
  • Worried about those that may look up to me
  • Seexual freedom doubt
  • Week 5
  • Living in my truth
  • Embodying my truth
  • Week 6
  • Caring about others wants and needs before my own
  • Week 7
  • Speaking my truth
 

Week 9

Reframing for freedom: Activate the changes we need to implement to shift our sensual and sexual lives FOREVER! Practicing “Say No” Erotic what it means to you- Choice and Voice (For you and For your Lovers) (Think about your satisfaction first) Exchange Endurance (No maybe… just YES!!) What does it feel like when you are giving someone a full hearted Yes and No? What does it look like when you are giving someone a Yes or a No? All things pleasurable and intimate deserves a Yes!!! Reframing our No! “Thank you for choosing you” Establish boundaries from within to show up as the best version of yourself sensually, sexually, erotically, passionately, authentically… To maintain and sustain the foundation from within! Most pleasurable moments: What it felt like, taste like, what it look like, smelt like… Continue to Create paths to pleasure… Create choice and voice Mantra (Purpose of motivation and encouragement) (Give strength to the body, mind, and soul) “Do not fear your choice and voice, release just free yourself” “My choice and voice encourage excellence” “How fully you can feel in the doing, determines your choice and voice” “My voice is unique and powerful” “I am willing to learn the power that my voice hold’’ “Choice and voice speak eroticism, love, creation, and energy in all women” “My voice can lead to making a choice to be the difference all would want to hear” “My choice and voice is deeply rooted in all aspects of my life” “Do not settle, you have a choice to use your voice” “My choice and voice bring me closer to my needs as well as desires” “Living from within guides me to my choice and voice” “We learn to recognize the feeling of the attention we receive from making a choice to use a voice” “Pay attention to the truth of how your choice and voice makes you feel”    

Week 10

Permission for pleasure: Live Free! Live your authentic self-EVERYDAY! Say yes to YOUR needs!
  1. Recall pleasurable moments (Document pleasure) (stay in the feeling) –
  • Some of most pleasurable moments came from the words that was spoken to my soul. words that came from my husband’s mouth… every time he says he loves me with every inch of his body, I connect to that.
  • Me cooking for my honey and our family. Watching them enjoy the food and speak on how good it is.
  • When things in my home is clean and organized from the top of the roof to the bottom of the floor.
  • When my husband says things so effortlessly and it has me laughing all day long literally.
  • My husbands Aura when he is in boss mode, seeing how much I make him smile, how good I make him feel, and how excited I make him.
  • Listening to good music that make you FEEL driving, at home, out dancing, etc..
  • Reading and learning something new for my spiritual growth
  • Meditating when chaos is all around me
  • Drinking my water and tea everyday, me feeling it go down my throat into my stomach
  • Me running in the morning while the sun is coming up enjoying the sweat, feeling the burn, and enjoying the present moment of honoring my body.
  • Me enjoying moments of fasting to connect deeper within my spirit.
  • Cooking my food and enjoying the taste of my herbs as I’m eating.
  • Bathing and feeling how soft my skin is also showing gratitude.
  • Take the time to nurture the only body that I will have in this lifetime
  • Knowing that my house is spiritually in order brings me the most pleasure
  • I remember when I came home from work and my husband told me to go take off my uniform, shower and put on something comfortable. He gave me a break from cooking and said we were going out to eat tonight. His consideration turned me on.
  • Going to the nail salon and getting a pedicure. Feeling the warm water on my feet and feeling the hand massage on my feet/ankles. Just a chance to relax and release especially after a week full of hard work.
  • Movie night in the bed while sipping on some good Wine. Room full of vanilla incense smell just sweetness, rose hip oil , lavender oil, and a mixture of our scents. It gets my juices flowing just cleanliness and sweetness (Aphrodisiac Living)
  1. Touch something that give you pleasure (Ignite your senses) How senses help you access pleasure? –
  • Touching soft silk clothes or sheets.
  • Touching soft skin (My husbands and My own)
  • Sweet natural smells like body oil that brings out or matches your individual aura
  • Smell of cleanliness fresh out the tub with a few flowers, rosemary oil, and pink salt added)
  • The smell of water at the beach or the trees/grass while walking in nature
  • The sound of a calm voice
  • The taste of good, sweet yogurt with the added peaches or strawberries and granola with a little touch of honey/ginger powder
  • The taste of a good smoothie with the added Siddha Flower Essences Lovers Chocolate with Botanicals/Lucky Lovers (Horny Goat Weed, Cacao, Ashwagandha Root, Pink Salt…)
  • Smell of some good vegetables with the seasonings added from a clean kitchen.
  • When my hands meet a nice body scrub, body wash, body butter, body lotion/oil.
  • Pheromone spray that me and my husband wear occasionally under our own perfume or cologne..yeah we mean strictly business.
  1. Understanding your individual pleasure path (What moves you closer) List what moves you closer to pleasure –
  • My relationship with my Higher Self/Showing up everyday in my TRUTH
  • Keeping my schedule organized keeps my life as mommy, wifey, leader, officer together as well as my home.
  • Spending time in nature or just soaking in water.
  • My health inside and out/putting me first before I start my day full of purpose
  • Keeping a smile on my face in every situation that I’m faced with/laughing through it all
  • Remaining grounded from within/Silence/Meditation.
  • Music that speaks to my sacral chakra and activates my entire being.
  • Cleanliness all over in your daily living.
  • Patience and Mindfulness with yourself and others.
  • Knowing and Feeling my Husband spirit knowing that he is happy from deep within.
  • Watching others that are associated or connected to me happy and living in the present with me.
  • Knowing that my baby (both of them) are good and well!
  • Not being easily assessable to the world/ having my boundaries up and me choosing when I want to be seen or not
  • Having a choice and a voice in everything I put my energy into (haha)
  1. Moments in your day-to-day life (Authenticity) –
  • How I interact with people not acting because I wear a uniform but truly just being MarJanae.
  • Me walking in my office every morning and fixing my tea also taking time out to journal my thoughts and connect to my inner spirit before I start work.
  • Wearing my locks in uniform and loving the look on others faces (yeas I am who I AM, and I wear it proudly)
  • Me tapping into my sensual and sexual energy in my moments of solitude and the confidence that it gives me to know that I am mastering it all from deep within.
  • The confidence in knowing when others see me all they see is the unknown..that my smile has a story, my voice has a story, my walk has a story, my body has a story and a testimony.
  • My music that I choose to play, instrumentals (Lo-fi beats) whatever feels good to me at any time of the day.
  • Me coming home and not caring for clothes just me acting as how I truly feel in that moment (Majority of my day to day). Walking around in my beautiful skin and sipping my water and watering my plants.

Week 11

Sensual Shadows

Eroticism- How we translate our sexuality (what you wear, how you smell, movements more intentional, lingerie, awakening within oneself (embrace and embody)

How do you view Eroticism?

Embodiment and Mindfulness

I view eroticism as being the one thing that is connected to the core of all women. It’s the creative energy, the passion, and the pleasure from within that deepens you spiritually, sexually, and sensually. Once you tap into that erotic energy it becomes apart of your being. You become mindful of how it starts to show up within your body, how you conduct your daily activities, your cooking, your loving, your affection, your intimacy, the clothes you wear, how you choose to do your hair, makeup, etc.. When you tap into this powerful energy you will start to notice others that have done the same. Your energy will recognize theirs and the beautiful light will just shine through you.

Week 12

Sensual Shadows

Share The Work With Love!

It’s time to go from learning to doing in all aspects of your life!

Going back to week 1 of sensual shadow work, I was really coming from a place of putting others needs before my own as it relates to my voice (finding balance in expression). I realized that I didn’t say certain things because I was worried about the response. I love to feel safe but I had to realize that not speaking up was making me not feel safe within myself. Protection of my energy was one thing but having respect for myself in all areas of my life was another thing. Not fearful of the response but facing it head on. Releasing and letting it all out with love. Being confident also mindful in my approach to speaking what is coming from deep within my heart and honoring also celebrating myself for it. Giving myself permission for all things pleasure and consistently having a choice and a voice. Not just sometimes either but all the time. Honoring that me showing up is enough. Being ok with giving what I can give and doing what I can do. Taking the time to appreciate my hard work, not caring what the next persons opinions look like. One thing I’ve come to realize is the moment you tap into weaknesses and work on healing them. They eventually become your strengths, and the only thing left to say is “I remember when I use to be that woman, but not anymore… the power of CHANGE has led me to more PLEASURE… TRANSFORMING HOW I SHOW UP AS THE BEST VERSION OF ME” In most cases there is chaos before there is peace. Getting to the root in every aspect of your being.. reminder to self “you only get one temple honor it good and well”.

Now since I’ve reached the end of my weekly sensual shadow work. I see myself continuously mastering my gifts in every way through the power of being in alignment. I love the feeling of reading something new, journaling all hours of the day, and just opening my mind up to all things pleasure. I see me going towards what makes me feel free, whether that be fasting to FEEL myself deeper spiritually, going out in nature, or just sitting in water. I see me looking at he world through eyes of love, compassion, empathy, but also balanced pleasure in everything that I do now and moving forward. I see me spending more time brainstorming on ways to connect more with the world. Allowing my higher self to guide me along this beautiful journey …truly spreading the word to bless peoples holistic pleasure path. “Laugh more, love more, and surrender to your erotic/sexual/sensual AUTHENTIC TRUTH” FREE

Mantra

“My sensual shadow work is the healing needed for unconditional self-love in connection with
my higher self”

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